The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
