its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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