Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
