Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
