Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
