Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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