yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
