We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
