I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Found the puke drawer
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
