I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
