Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
