grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
