Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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