I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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