There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
