i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
