I want to make a zoo with you.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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