so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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