Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The air was thick with penises
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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