he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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