his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
