i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
