i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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