i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Randomize
