How'd it feel making her break her religion?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
