So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
