I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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