I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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