We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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