Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
