It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Bring me that man meat
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
