just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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