I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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