Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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