god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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