it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
