I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
