I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
