Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
