Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame

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(775): View more from Nevada

before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.

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(503): View more from Oregon

well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

you didn't get her number why?

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(925): View more from California

We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...

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(602): View more from Arizona

I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.

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