where am i from again
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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