Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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