Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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