either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Randomize
