How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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