Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
