just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
