Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
