I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
