Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
